Relationships are funny. Maybe not relationships themselves but definitely the way we categorize them and the way we find ourselves in and out of them at a moment's notice. You guys don't know that I had all but given up on dating because it sucked. Well, in July, an old classmate reached out to me via Facebook Messenger. We developed a situation. I didn't really recognize it as a relationship because it didn't think it was. He has been really hard to communicate with and there were times when I thought he just wasn't interested although he kept promising me that he really, really was. After giving him several chances to show me that his actions could align with his words I decided that I was DONE!
Tuesday I had a conversation with someone about my dating life and I gave my standard response, "I just don't think guys my age get me. They seemingly need validation that I can't provide. I don't know how to play the damsel in distress role and I simply do not need rescuing." My friend's advice was "If you're being very vocal and upfront about that in the beginning and it's still not working, maybe you should try being vocal and upfront about what it is that you do need." While that seems simple enough - I eas basically floored because I couldn't be sure that I was being open and honest about that and because men and women ARE so different, all of my "I don't need"s were probably being translated into I. Don't. Need. You. Whoa, wait a minute. That's not what I mean at all. I took a day or two to let this revelation marinate in my soul. I'd talked to everybody else about what I needed and wanted from a guy except for the guy that was currently the best candidate I'd had in a very long time.
Wednesday I bit the bullet and texted him. He responded with a very open, very real explanation as to why he'd stepped back from us - he wasn't in a good space and didn't feel like he had much to offer me. But what he felt like he didn't have to offer me were not the things that I need. We talked some stuff out. I mean really, talked it out and over the next couple of days we BOTH had to put some action behind our words and sort of prove to each other that we were willing to be that person the other one could depend on.
By Saturday he'd informed me that he was my man. Oh, okay.
I'm excited. So excited that I kinda wanna change my relationship status on Facebook but we all know that's the kiss of death, LOL.
Let's see what happens.
XOXO,
Latina Renee
I have a lot of male friends.It seems that I am forever being friend zoned. These guys and these relationships just kind of hang in the balance with no real titles and no real definitions. Now that I've come to the conclusion that what I really want is to be married and possibly have more babies, I've started thinking about what it is that I need to do next to prepare me for the things I'm asking for. So far this list includes:
1. Getting my health on track because I don't want to leave my current children, my future husband and my future kids too soon
2. Fixing my financial situation
3. Dropping my hoes....
Did I mention that the list is pretty new? I know there are other things that need to be fixed but right now, I'm focused on these three things. Anyway, this post is about #3, the dropping of the hoes.
Now, when I say hoes I mean those guys that you kinda keep in rotation for when you need somebody to Netflix and chill with, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen ...you know all of the excuses we give ourselves for letting some people take up permanent residence in our lives when they should have only been awarded temporary passes or not have been awarded ANY entrance into our lives, minds and bodies in the first place.
So yesterday I was contacted by 2 of these "friends" at separate times and it further confirmed what I've known all along which is that men are hot shitty messes who like to blame the confusion between the sexes on just the women. I think women are more open to the actual fact that everybody has issues.
Anyway, one conversation was basically, "I do like you, I think we can be good together as long as you are there ...for sex"
Boy what? Please understand that what I'm looking for is not just about sex. The fact that frequent sex is one of your relationship demands tells me that we are on two totally different pages. I wouldn't be so pissed if you had listed good sex but frequent sex?
First of all, ain't nobody got time for that. I live where I live and you live where you live and those will probably be 2 different places for a while because I don't look forward to cohabitating with anyone anytime soon.
Second of all, I work and I hustle and I can only be attracted to someone that does the same. I want you to be legit busy so that you understand when I'm busy. Not the best set-up but one day we'll be able to sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor and the time that we do have together, the focus will be on making it meaningful. Quality vs. Quantity.
Third of all, bye Felipe! If I ever liked you before, you just completely turned me off. Aint no hope with dope (which you're obviously on).
Later in the day, another 'friend' texted me and because I was under the impression that we're just friends, I asked him about another situation that I was briefly (very briefly) involved in. This negro was all like "I don't want to hear about what you got going on with somebody else" which made me ask if he was interested and of course the answer was "yes, but BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH....
Listen fellas, I don't have time for these games. I feel better though. Laying it all out on the line, finding out who's ready and who isn't. Survey says....this is going to be a long, hard journey, but I'm game. I will not settle. #IWantTheFairyTale
This promises to be an adventure guys! I can't wait to see what's next. Until next time.
Hugs & Kisses,
Latina Renee
