Relationships are funny. Maybe not relationships themselves but definitely the way we categorize them and the way we find ourselves in and out of them at a moment's notice. You guys don't know that I had all but given up on dating because it sucked. Well, in July, an old classmate reached out to me via Facebook Messenger. We developed a situation. I didn't really recognize it as a relationship because it didn't think it was. He has been really hard to communicate with and there were times when I thought he just wasn't interested although he kept promising me that he really, really was. After giving him several chances to show me that his actions could align with his words I decided that I was DONE!
Tuesday I had a conversation with someone about my dating life and I gave my standard response, "I just don't think guys my age get me. They seemingly need validation that I can't provide. I don't know how to play the damsel in distress role and I simply do not need rescuing." My friend's advice was "If you're being very vocal and upfront about that in the beginning and it's still not working, maybe you should try being vocal and upfront about what it is that you do need." While that seems simple enough - I eas basically floored because I couldn't be sure that I was being open and honest about that and because men and women ARE so different, all of my "I don't need"s were probably being translated into I. Don't. Need. You. Whoa, wait a minute. That's not what I mean at all. I took a day or two to let this revelation marinate in my soul. I'd talked to everybody else about what I needed and wanted from a guy except for the guy that was currently the best candidate I'd had in a very long time.
Wednesday I bit the bullet and texted him. He responded with a very open, very real explanation as to why he'd stepped back from us - he wasn't in a good space and didn't feel like he had much to offer me. But what he felt like he didn't have to offer me were not the things that I need. We talked some stuff out. I mean really, talked it out and over the next couple of days we BOTH had to put some action behind our words and sort of prove to each other that we were willing to be that person the other one could depend on.
By Saturday he'd informed me that he was my man. Oh, okay.
Let's see what happens.
Latina Renee
